bad news and good news

Lydia sent me photos of Sophie. she is beautiful. absolutely gorgous. The bad news is that Ben is no longer there. he has been moved to a big kids orphanage(gosh he isnt a big kid he isnt even 6!) and now it is going to cost more money to work with two orphanages. I am sick. He has no future there. his chance of adoption as a non mobile 5 year old are pretty much nil. but I just dont know where we are going to come up with the extra cash. Thankfully he is still in the same city so it is a possibility. but how? how? of course now we will have to divide our time in P town between two places meaning neither child ever gets us for long. and the money. the money is a serious problem. I dont know where we are going to come up with enough for everything. travel for 6(one older child is going with us on each trip plus bringing home both Sophie and Ben) is alone a huge expense. and we really will need that extra help to have one of our older kids along. then the actual adoption expenses (now with added expenses because Ben was moved) and while there we have to stay and eat as well. Then the embassy stuff is more money and the second I600 we will have to file for the second child. Not to mention there is someone else breathing heavy down our necks asking for more money. Eric works so hard. he is a good provider. The people of this town are less than supportive in our adoption ventures and have not donated much more than their nasty comments. I am just sick. I dont know how it will all work out. one way or another, this way or that way, something will happen. will it be what we wanted? what we planned? what we hoped? I just dont know.