today

at the zoo I was noticing all the little blondies and wondering if my little blondie will look like that or do this or that. of course I had to remind myself that she may never do all the things those kids were doing but she will have a chance to do SOME of them and without us giving her a chance she wouldnt get one at all. I know this is my child. I know she is. but even when you grow a child yourself there is a time from diagosis of problem to grieving for the child that will never be. I am happy with her the way she is. I will give her whatever I can to help her get the most she can possibly get out of her life. but I still grieve for the child she will never be. she will be ours. we will love her. the fact remains that she will have limitations in what her body allows her to do. I am coming to terms with that, and starting to see how my little pipe dream is really doing to be a little different than I had in mind. differnt isnt bad, just different. and something to get used to.